Do you tell yourself if you could just be a better wife, your marriage would be perfect?
Know in your heart if you could do a better job of keeping your husband happy, he would be nicer?
Does this sound like you . . .?
No matter how hard you try, you could have done better.
Whichever choice you make, it wasn’t the right one.
You think you know the perfect thing to say, but instead the wrong words come out.
If you find yourself asking what it would take to be a better wife, read on.
The truth is, you’ll never be a good enough wife to stop the put downs, belittling criticism, or anger. Nothing you do or don’t do has the power to make him happy.
No matter how hard you try, mistakes and accidents happen. You’re only human. The real question isn’t how to be a better wife, but how to stop your husband from expecting you to be.
The answer to that question?
You can’t.
If your partner is abusive, whether emotionally, verbally, physically, there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Unless your partner accepts responsibility for his actions and has a deep desire to change, the abuse will continue.
So, what can you do?
1. First, understand the basics:
- It’s not your fault.
- You’re not the one with the problem.
- You’re not alone.
2. Second, make a choice:
- Convince him to get help.
- End the relationship.
- Do nothing. Continue living on eggshells with the understanding things will most likely get worse.
Whatever you decide, don’t do it alone. People care and want to help.
You are worth it.
For help on how to get out, stay, or convince him to get help, call a local shelter or the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for confidential, anonymous help.
How about you?
What do you do in an effort to be a better wife?
What do you think it takes to have a better marriage?
Are you willing to do what it takes?
I love this post! My husband is very loving but there are times when – I am not good enough. The emotional banter has caused issues for all my 5 now adult children. I can not go back and I did live on egg shells for decades – I still believe in God healing it all but it has been a rough road. Should I have left a long time ago… only time will tell. I can say one thing – it has kept me searching the Word and I pray one day my faith and hope will pull us through. I guess it has done so – so far.
I will say, all my children have pretty much told me that if I left they would not blame me. Sometimes they have even question my staying. My oldest did admit that I have now put in almost 30 years… Do I want to give up on that? The answer is no, I don’t. The good news is that we have had many good times together. I can only pray that one day he will realize that he is favored of God, blessed to have the children and we all do really love him even if we can not devote our entire lives to him.
Blessings for your sharing!
Oh Justine, I’m so sorry. Just keep praying for your husband and marriage… and also for yourself. But also remember, I wrote this post as so many women believe, just as I did, that everything could be great if they could just be a better wife. But it isn’t about you being a better wife. It’s about realizing it’s not all up to you to keep the peace and be happy in your marriage. You can’t expect to be perfect, and if your husband expects you to, well, you need to give yourself the grace he can’t give you.
That’s the thiinnkg of a creative mind